I totally agree with alrstudent
Some basic tips to keep in mind for writing an essay. . .
~You should NEVER use the word "you" or "I" or "your" etc.
~"Have you ever. . ." or "Do you ever wonder. . ." or "Do you really know the real reason behind. . ." because it gives your reader the chance to say or think "Nope, I've never wondered . . ." or "No I haven't done that" or "I don't really care if I know the real reason behind. . ." When writing an essay you don't want to give your reader something they could disagree with what your saying or go "and I care because. . .?" I know it sounds harsh but seriously, who really gives a crap to those kinds of questions? Do they really make you want to read whatever the paper is going to be?
~Jokes don't usually work in most cases. Unless you have a SUPER funny joke where everyone laughs every time you tell it, then I'd say it's a pass.
~Never use I think, I feel, I believe, In my opinon, etc. because in doing so it's like your saying YOU are an EXPERT on the topic or whatever your writing about. So unless you really have a degree in what you're writing about, leave those out.
~All forms of go or get (includes goes, gone, gotten, went, got, etc.)
~The phrase "it all started with. . ." because did it really all start with. . . When you say that it's basically saying the beginning of earth/time/the world started with. . .
Attention Getters MUST BE CLEVER!!!! Ideas. . .
~Allusions (refrences to something famous-ex. writing a persuasive essay for the idea of population control an attention getter could have a tie in to "It's a small world")
~A play on words (ex. persuasive essay for the idea of banning the watermelon-Watermelon is a grind. Grind is the play on words because of course there is grind, but also there's the "rind" of a watermelon.)
~Another ex. would be "Is watermelon too big a pill to swallow?"
These are just some of the basic rules to follow when writing an essay-hope they help!
“Betrayal is too kind a word to describe a situation in which a father says he loves his daughter but claims he must teach her about the horrors of the world in order to make her a stronger person; a situation in which he watches or participates in rituals that make her feel like she is going to die. She experiences pain that is so intense that she cannot think; her head spins so fast she can't remember who she is or how she got there.
All she knows is pain. All she feels is desperation. She tries to cry out for help, but soon learns that no one will listen. No matter how loud she cries, she can't stop or change what is happening. No matter what she does, the pain will not stop. Her father orders her to be tortured and tells her it is for her own good. He tells her that she needs the discipline, or that she has asked for it by her misbehavior. Betrayal is too simple a word to describe the overwhelming pain, the overwhelming loneliness and isolation this child experiences.
As if the abuse during the rituals were not enough, this child experiences similar abuse at home on a daily basis. When she tries to talk about her pain, she is told that she must be crazy. "Nothing bad has happened to you;' her family tells her Each day she begins to feel more and more like she doesn't know what is real. She stops trusting her own feelings because no one else acknowledges them or hears her agony. Soon the pain becomes too great. She learns not to feel at all. This strong, lonely, desperate child learns to give up the senses that make all people feel alive. She begins to feel dead.
She wishes she were dead. For her there is no way out. She soon learns there is no hope.
As she grows older she gets stronger. She learns to do what she is told with the utmost compliance. She forgets everything she has ever wanted. The pain still lurks, but it's easier to pretend it's not there than to acknowledge the horrors she has buried in the deepest parts of her mind. Her relationships are overwhelmed by the power of her emotions. She reaches out for help, but never seems to find what she is looking for The pain gets worse. The loneliness sets in. When the feelings return, she is overcome with panic, pain, and desperation.
She is convinced she is going to die. Yet, when she looks around her she sees nothing that should make her feel so bad. Deep inside she knows something is very, very wrong, but she doesn't remember anything. She thinks, "Maybe I am crazy.”
― Margaret Smith, Ritual Abuse: What it is, Why it Happens, and How to Help